


Fuck it's Be More Chill

by Anonymous



Series: Fuck it's Musicals [1]
Category: Be More Chill, bmc - Fandom
Genre: F/F, FUCK, Fic is officially complete! Just tweaking and fixing a few errors, I ship the Squip x Jeremy's dad, Love ya ♡, M/M, SQUIEERE IM CRYING, She cried real tears, Squieere ftw, Take a shot every time I cuss, This is a shit fic, This is just one big shitpost, Ultimately decided to make this fic anonymous, crackfic, how does one tag, i honestly hate myself but yoo, i showed my friend that last tag, im crying people actually like this fic??, im focusing on more serious works now!, it gets gay folks, michael does not deserve this shit hoW DARE YO U ??, musicals ruined my life, no please don't you will literally di e, sorta - Freeform, thank y'all for everything tho, what the fuck am I doing, your comments mean the world to me tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 14:47:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 6,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11420214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: So your best friend won't shut the fuck up about this musical Be More Chill, but you don't want to listen to the songs or read the script? Well strap on in kiddies and shut the fuck up because this is Be More Chill and shits gonna get weird and gay and it'll probably take over your life you musical freak





	1. Jeremy's waiting for his porno to load

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we go oh dear lord

So. You read the title. You read the summarry. (Or didn't like a little shit) 

Let's do this. 

So ya open to my boy Jeremy Heere, and he's fucking trying to masturbate and singing at the same time bitch me too

And it's at this moment you regret showing your mom this musical as she gives you glares deadly enough to make jesus cry fuck off mom

How far are we? About twenty seconds into first song? Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw 

Basically, Jeremy is an awkward loser at school who loves old video games and married to his best friend who also loves old video games and this anxious boy's life sucks because he's bullied by a 5'1 human torch (more details later) and he's a general loser in school 

He's goes to school and sees Chloe Valentine, low-key a bitch and the hottest girl with school with her wife Brooke Lohst, high-key the sweetest gentlest cinnamon roll you'll ever meet who's insecure and just wants to eat frozen yogurt and be in a relationship cmon Chloe appreciate your gf 

This girl Jenna Rolan is gossiping about some hoe who slept with Jake Dillinger sweaty no you have a boyfriend 

And now enter Jeremy's husbando, the most innocent character in this show who doesn't deserve the shit that goes down, Michael Mell, who is a gay shit-posting dork who's been best friends with Jeremy and pining since they were kids I love him

The human torch, Rich Goranski, fucks shit up with Jeremy and writes "Boyf" on his backpack and "riends" on Michael's my fucking hero Richard expose Jeremy

Then Rich proceeds to no-homo Jake and they walk to class together those gay nuggets

Suddenly,, gaspu !! Christine Canigula enters stage right !! Jeremy's crush !! (No Jeremy your husbando) 

Christine literally me a fucking adhd theatre loving mess just give her crippling anxiety and practically non-existent self-esteem and pow the point is Christine is pure and great 

So she signs up for the play and so Jeremy does too and Rich calls him gay (damn Rich is master at exposing the gay) 

Okay that was basically the first song got it? Now shut the fuck up there's still 19 more I'll make 'em quick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly have no idea what I'm doing


	2. I Love Christine's Solo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Consistent posting schedule?? Never heard of her
> 
> (Okay I know I said I'll update this daily but screw it, this one is short so might as well chuck it out now)

So recap: nobody is straight, boyf riends takes the world by storm and now Jeremy's in a play because Christine signed up for it my god Jeremy what the fuck 

 

Moving on.

 

So now we meet Mr.Reyes, the theatre teacher and probably the most relatable character in this show he just wants some hotpockets fuck these kids and their education in which the future of our economy depends 

I'm craving hotpockets now damn it I haven't had any in years 

ANYWAYS

Y'know who loves play rehearsal? Christine. And play rehearsal loves her we all love her tbh she's pure and she needs more appreciation 

Forgot to mention because of crippling adhd; Chloe, Brooke, Jake, Rich, and Jenna all joined theatre because heY FREE EASY CLASS

Also because they're gay

Jake starts talking to Christine trying to charm her that little shit Jake you are maRRIED THIS IS WHY RICH SET YOUR HOUSE ON FIR E

 

"W-Wait what?" Stammered the reader, already very uncomfortable with this shit fic why are you reading this. "This guy sets his boyfriends house on fire?"

"Shut the fuck up you fucking digital trumpet," Replied me, giving the reader a mental smack to the face you feel that bitch  
"More on this later back to gays."

 

*Rich looks to camera like he's on The Office*

Smol totally bi boy being cheated on by toll pan boy smh 

Anyways, Anixety™ sees this but hey Jeremy there's always Michael and I mean always he's your bro but he could also be your hoe if ya know what I mean hephphpehejdhdsk 

No stop it boyf riends is mostly pure I need to stop what the fuck 

So for the play they're supposed to be doing A Midsummer Night's Dream that Shakespeare shit or something but because of budget cuts it's stupid and about zombies instead and honestly 1000% relatable if you go to a crappy public school 

Christine is McTriggered™ because Shakespeare is a god among theatre ?? Well besides Lin-Manuel Miranda of course but that's besides the point she's kinda ticked for a bit lmao 

But she loves play rehearsal so she rolls with it and gets a lead roll of course because she's greA T 

So some shit goes down in the next chapter get ready kiddos it's getting intense

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next is The Squip Song. Ohhh boy, I can't fucking wait


	3. Drugs are okay if they're from Japan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay no drugs are bad drugs are a no no

Y'know, play rehearsal is rad and all, but you know what isn't? Drugs.

Unless these drugs are from Japan and they make you cool af of course lmao 

So after play rehearsal, we see our hero Jeremy run off to the bathroom to wash off the "boyf" on his backpack you can't escape the gay Jeremy you fucking salad

Rich is there pissing obviously I mean what else do you do in a high school bathroom you filthy tainted minds

If Jake was in there with him it'll be a different story hephpdjdjeorsheheheh 

Okay I need to shut the fuck up and go on the with story

So anyways, Rich is giving him a hard time (hehe) of course and messing with him when,, suddenly !! He starts acting kinda weird and, because I'm lazy and don't wanna do word for word dialogue, he basically says he's sorry for always giving him a hard time (hehe), but he does it because he has a rare and secret super computer in his bloodstream that speaks to him in his mind and tells him to do it after he took this gray pill with Mountain Dew 

"Okay Rich must be high as fuck and talking about drugs," Thinks the reader and Jeremy simultaneously

But noPE he's not high, and he basically becomes a storytime YouTuber for three and a half minutes 

Clears throat

"I used to be a loser with a small dick and shit until I got that pill," Rich explained "Y'know, just like you are now" get fucKING REKT JEREMY OH MY GOD RICH YOU ANIMAL

"W-well, is it like drugs?" Replied Jeremy as he stuttered like a bitch after that roast he was emotionally scarred Rich apologize to my son 

"It's better than drugs bro" Rich laughed his smexy ass chuckle damn that laugh almost makes me straight

"Well how is it bett-"

"ĮT$ FR0M FÙÇKĮŃG JÅPÀ Ń"

"Wh-"

"ĮT$ À GRÅŸ ØBŁ0ŃG PĮŁŁ, QÚÄŃTÙM NÂŃØ TĘÇHŃØŁŌGŸ ÇPÚ-"

This song had me #shook the vocals are honestly amazing and chilling

So basically if you take this pill you become rad as fuck and it speaks to you in your brain, kinda like a guide to help you with grades, peers, friends, family, and dating

Jeremy's is interested because he's a single pringle and wants to be in his dream relationship 

But instead thinking about going for his soulmate and husbando Michael, this fucK WANTS CHRISTINE BOY YOU TALKED TO HER LIKE THREE TIMES TOTAL DONT CHEAT ON MICHAEL LISTEN TO YOUR KOKORO IT GOES DOKI DOKI AROUND HIM

And with that, Rich leaves that bathroom to go and make out with Jake or something smh

So it's Jeremy in the bathroom not at a party :,)

Jeremy decides he wants to look more into it, so he confides in his husbando Michael-kun and invites him over after school to play video games and talk about it 

Get ready next chapter kiddos it gets gay with the boyf riends ;)))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realized that once I'm finished with this fic and decide to write actual serious work this will always be the fic I'm remembered for fuck


	4. Two Fucking Gays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay but this song is so gay and I love it ??

As you recall, our hero Jeremy just learned about a pill that will improve his life and make him rad af and totally NOT turn him into a selfish dick sucking twink and get him to abandon all his friends and family psH whaddaya talkin bout ????

But Rich does act like a dick to him and Jeremy can't tell if this is legit, so he seeks the wisdom of his husbando Michael as they play nintendo video games and act gay me too

Shit back to the story

 

Michael-kun basically says that it's probably a scam because it's hellA EXPENSIVE HE AINT BILL GATEs and Jeremy argues that it could be real and he doesn't want to be a loser forever no Jeremy you're a perfect soft bean 

I guess Michael thinks that too because he basically says he loves him the way he is no homo tho just kidding all the homo hephepdjeejpeher ;))))

Also they're gonna be coOL IN COLLEGE 

Gaspu!!! Jeremy's dad makes an entrance!!! And he's not wearing pants what the fuck me too tbh Mr.Heere is my spirit animal

He thinks Jeremy is with a girl at first haha Mr.Heere you should know by now your son is playing with Michael and not exclusively on nintendo ;)))

As if they'd only play nintendo theres plenty of other consoles out there god get your mind outta the gutter 

;))))))

 

ANYWAys, it turns out Mr.Heere is mega depressed because his wife left him and Jeremy recently so he just doesn't have the energy to get dressed poor man his wife is a fucking bitch she's the most hated character in the BMC fandom and she's noT EVEN IN THE MUSICAL WH

Jeremy mentions that Rich's dealer is at a Payless because why not of coURSE THATS WHERE DRUG DEALERS SELLING SUPER COMPUTERS IN PILLS HANG OUT OBVIOUSLY PS H

Michael-kun gets a little sad my baby no and he's slightly afraid that Jeremy will be "too cool" for him and he'll leave him behind after he takes the pill nO MICHAE L 

Jeremy grabs his husbando's hands and looks deep into his gay eyes and says that Michael is his favorite person and he'll never leave him behind oh my god that's gay you can't no homo your way outta that

And then Michael leans forward and passionately maKES OUT WITH JEREMY OHHHHH

No I fucking wish 

Jeremy assures him and promises he won't leave Michael behind yeET JEREMY YOU FUCKING TWINK

Just wait you're gonna fucking hate Jeremy soon for a bit but he makes up for it later just wait shits gonna go down even further kiddos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God George Salazar is just ??? The greatest man ??
> 
> This pure bean plays Michael in Be More Chill and he's just so fucking talented and funny ??
> 
> Like even if you never check out BMC you have to check out this pure mans work he's amazing


	5. Jeremy's mind is penetrated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter isnt smut you flithy minded weirdo

So you jump to Jeremy and Michael at the payless in the mall and there's this emo looking stockboy whos probably the dealer it's a pretty big red flag

He takes one look at Jeremy and immediately knows he's there for the pill fucking rud E

Emo boy pulls out the pill and basically explains how to take it

"So you drink it with Mountain Dew but just btw it's untested and high-key illegal and could hurt you or kill you idk lmao but take it anyways" the wannabe Keith Kogane explained

"Okay I will" said naive little Jeremy my son no 

So he and Michael stop at the food court, buy the Mt.Dew and he takes the pill 

Nothing happens

What the tic tac diddly dack get this boy back his bar mitzvah money 

So Michael-kun decides he's gonna stop by Spencer's Gifts to get some special kind of Pepsi from a guy that was discontinued in the 90's while Jeremy sobs over his chili fries Michael comfort your husbando don't leave him

And whadda ya know, Jake and Christine suddenly appear !!! Turns out Jake said that the cast of the play was meeting up in the mall to lure Christine to have like a date or something totally not creepy at Jake it's not like you have a boyfriend either nope haha

*Rich once again looks to the camera like he's on the office*

So Christine sees Jeremy and Jake starts acting like kinda a dick and obviously it's Jeremy's cue to start fucking shit up and tries to tell her how he feels

But yeET BITCH SLAP TO THE BRAIN

He suddenly has these waves of pain and starts spasming what the fuck someone help my boY HAVING A SEIZURE SOMEONE DO SOMETHING

There's a voice speaking in his head saying shit like "calibration in progress" like he's a computer oh wait he is it's the fuckinG SQUIP FUC K

So there's a man now in his vision who's high-key hot as fuck and looks like Keanu Reeves for some reason y'know that guy from the movie John Wick because what the fuck

Basically, only Jeremy can see the Squip, and the Squip can have a mental conversation with Jeremy inside his brain due to the pill being in his bloodstream

And this has nothing to do with the main plot, but Jeremy compared that to Charles Xavier and that's when I fell in love with him ?? I mean if you like X-men you're well on the way to win my fucking heart I am wooed easily and I'm getting off topic

And now, Jeremy has his Squip and all this went down while Michael was buying soda what the fuck Jeremy this is why we can't take you anywhere

Hold onto your hats kiddos this is just starting to get really deep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What am I doing with my life lmao


	6. Squip starts fucking shit up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy is perfect the way he is nO

Jeremy now has a Squip and holy shit it's gonna get fucked up

So the Squip begins giving advice to Jeremy and shitting on all his flaws what the fuck man 

And he fucking starts telling Jeremy that he's terriBLE AND THAT HE MAKES HIM WANNA DIE HOLY FUCK STOP IT LEAVE MY BOY ALONE

Michael-kun finna beat his ass Michael go save your boyfriend fuck the sodA

So Jeremy starts to slouch a little and it turns out the Squip can fuckiNG SHOCK HIM WHEN HE DOES SHIT LIKE THAT WTF 

The fucking Squip isn't done yet tho lmao he shits on Jeremy's fashion sense too tf and tells him to buy a new shirt to be cool or something smh 

He gets an Eminem shirt and then the Squip says everyone in the mall think he's terrible well they cAN FUCK OFF

He picks out another shirt but the Squip points out it's a girls shirt fuck off Squip Jeremy can wear that shirt if he wants to slay queeN

Speaking of queens Jeremy goes to put back the shirt and the girLFRIENDS CHLOE AND BROOKE APPEAR AAA

Then for some reason the Squip tells Jeremy to flirt with Brooke and Chloe is high-key salty Jeremy you don't flirt with a girl when her girlfriend is right next to her what the fuck 

To save Jeremy from embarrassment with the shirt situation the Squip makes up a story for him that he dated a hoe named Madeline and that the shirt reminded him of her rip 

So Chloe begins ranting how Madeline's a slut to her gf while Jeremy is confused as fuck as to what just happened and where the fuck is Michael

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gay


	7. Brooke high-key tries to kidnap Jeremy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is short wowowowowo

So Brooke is totALLY CHARMED BY JEREMy and offers to give him a ride home, but Jeremy declines, staying loyal to his husbando just like Brooke should be staying loyal to her wifE

*now it's Chloe's turn to look at the camera like she's in The Office*

So the Squip says to take the ride, but Jeremy still refused because he's getting a ride with his husbando so Chloe and Brooke leave fuck you Squip

But before they do Brooke flirts with Jeremy a bit ?? Brooke you can't your girlfriend BrooKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND 

Also Brooke has a frozen yogurt kink because why not

So Jeremy is about to go find Michael when the Squip tells him that Michael already left and that's suspicious af Jeremy you knOW MICHAEL-KUN WOULDNT LEAVE YOU BEHIND FUC K

Here's when shit really gets fucked up kiddos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> High-key I'm Brooke tho I mean I'm insecure I love frozen yogurt and I'm pretty gay the resemblance is uncanny


	8. FUCK OFF SQUIP

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MY ANXIOUS BABY BOY NONONONONONON

The Squip fucking starts telling Jeremy that he can't just listen and he has to obey and believe. So he actually convinces Jeremy that everything about him is horrible and that he makes himself wanna die my baBY BOY NO OH MY FUCKING GOD

AND BY THIS POINT IM FUCKING SCREAMING YOU LEAVE THAT BABY BOY ALONE YOU FUCKING OFF BRAND SIRI FUCK YOU WHERE THE FUCK IS MICHAEL FU C K

And the Squip convinces Jeremy that he's going to fix him and make him cool and holy fuck we're only eight songs in fu c k

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Squip is a dick™


	9. Jeremy honey no

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Due to the most recent songs being short, the chapters are short as well I'm so sorry heprhdjfkdjdbdkf

So Jeremy gets up in the morning to fucking masturbate before school Jeremy honey no I mean it's normal but n o

But yeET the Squip shocks him because cool people don't masturbate apparently and everytime Jeremy thinks about sex he has to do a push up like jesus he's gonna be ripPED 

Also if you masturbate it is completely normal and a part of life you keep maturbating hoNEY

This is getting weird fuck mac n cheese break

Alright where the fuck was I

Okay so he goes to school and shit and Rich is pumped and ready to give Jeremy shit I mean we know how hype you get after making out with Jake hunty but cmoN

Before the human torch can kick Anxiety™'s ass, his Squip connects to Rich's Squip and he starts acting friendly with Jeremy two bi bros yes

Also Chloe, Jenna, and Brooke wave at Jeremy in the hallway but Brooke has like a crush on Jeremy now and ChloES RIGHT THERE OH MY GOD BROOK E

Chloe needs to step her game up before Jeremy steals her gf smh

Also Michael is nowhere in sigHT JEREMY JUST COMPLETELY GLOSSES OVER THAT FACT FIND YOUR HUSBANDO FU C K

STOP SCREWING AROUND AND GO FINd hi m

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: when I typed "Rich is pumped" it autocorrected to "Rich is pumpernickel" yes thank you autocorrect so reliable


	10. yeE T

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy gets rekt by Christine lmao

At play rehearsal Chloe, Brooke, and Jenna walk in and give Christine a hard time because Jenna said she saw her with Jake at the mall what the fuck Jenna you're better than this honey 

Christine, being the pure bean that she's is, says that she and Jake were just friends because woAH CHLoe used to date Jake oopsies 

Chloe is high-key acts like mythic bitch and implies that Jake just wanna wham-bam-thankyou-ma'am Christine no Jake my son you have a boyfriend stOP PUTTING RICH THROUGH THIS

Protec the smol bi boy 

Okay so the Heathers leave and Jeremy strolls up all cool of course and takes a seat and asks about Jake 

Christine tells Jeremy they're not dating and Jeremy just "woAHH" and Mr.Reyes is having none of that shit and tells Jeremy to shut the fuck up and read his part in the play without script trying to do that thing all teachers do to call you out and embarrass you fuck them i have adhd and crippling anxiety 

But ohhOHO JEREmy has his Squip and he just says his lines without any trouble get McRekt™ Mr.Reyes

So Mr.Reyes has a hotpocket break me too Mr.Reyes me too

Christine decides to tell Jeremy that she's feeling weird about a boy who's she's know for a long time but never really noticed and now she might be into him 

And Jeremy's all like "shit she's talking about me isn't she"

Then Mr.Reyes finishes his hotpocket break you amateur the hotpocket break never ends 

So she's fucking leading Jeremy on about her crush and fucking reveals its Jake oh my god reKTED JEREMY SHE SHUT HIM DOWN HARD OH MY GOD MY MUSICAL DAUGHTER YE E T

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People actually like this fic ?? It's making me feel things ??
> 
> Honestly, thank you guys so much, it means more to me than you can possibly know.
> 
> I have terrible anxiety and self-doubt and I've just decided to write some stupid crackfic to make me laugh and distract me from it all and it makes me so happy that other people are enjoying it aH I DIDNT MEAN TO GET ALL FEELSY LMAO JUST THANK YOU ALL SO MUC H


	11. SpoOK Y

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This song is spooky oOOøOooo

Okay this song is spooky?? And short too so this'll be a short chapter sorry kiddos aa

But hush now and let grandma tell ya the story

The Squip freaks the fuck out, takes control of Jeremy's body, and zooms outta there because of Christine she rekt him gooood 

He explains to Jeremy that he'll have to gain more social status in order to get Christine and high-key makes him start crying for no reason just as Brooke appears wowowowo 

And also Eminem is fucking deAD WH

So Brooke thinks he's crying over Eminem's death because he's wearing the shirt and goes to comfort him back tf off Brooke you have a fiancé and Jeremy has a husbando named Michael-kun who's been absent and Jeremy hasn't noticED THE FUC K

Okay now the shit is placed in a catapult and ready to be fired at the fan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Notices Kudos* OwO what's this ??
> 
> Just the fact I got over 10 Kudos is crazy to me


	12. Update ya iPhone lmao

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I FORGOT TO POST A CHAPTER YESTERDAY AND MY ANXIETY IS THROUGH THE ROO F
> 
> ITS LIKE 3 AM BUT FUCK IT

So wowowowo Brooke is charming the fuck outta Jeremy because she has this crush on him now and again what the fuck Brooke

Drinking game: everytime I say "what the fuck Brooke" in this fic ya take a shot

(No please don't)

Frozen Yogurt™ takes Jeremy behind the school and basically asks him out and he fucking says yeS NONONONO JEREMY WHAT ARE YOU DOING 

*distant sound of Michael-kun singing Burn and ripping letters*

So while that shit is going down, Jake finds Christine and invites her over to his house because his parents laundered money and they're on-the-run criminals now (what the fuck Jake honey are you okay) and cause he wants sum fuk Rich won't let him smash

Y e t

ANYWAys, Christine accepts and back to JeremY AND THE WALKING FLOPPY DISC FUCKING SHIT UP

So the Squip comes up with a plan to have Jeremy go from girl to girl to make his way up to Chrstine (Jeremy honey that's not how you pick up girlS)

Jeremy wants to process everything by himself, so the Squip shuts off temporarily and oH MY FUCKING GOD MY SON MICHAEL IS STANDING THERE

Michael is slightly pissed off, saying that Jeremy had been ignoring him for the whole day, but Jeremy is just "bro ?? I haven't SEEN you all day and-wait a fucking minute"

He reactivates the Squip and he explains to Jeremy about this shit called Optic Nerve Blocking, and that because Jeremy was friends (and husbandos) with Michael when he was a loser, he can't see him anymore if he wants to be cool, and Optic Nerve Blocking basically makes him disappear from his perspective entirely what the FUC K

Michael realizes that the reason he was acting weirdly was because of the Squip working and he gets so excited and he's so happy and he wants to celebrate with his husbando and get stoned with him dkdbskflahslf 

But nO IF JEremy chooses to be cool to get Christine, he'll have to change himself entirely and completely block out Michael. So what does he choose?

The logical thing to do would be "fuck it fuck this drama shit I'm staying with my husbando" but ohHOHO THIS IS A MUSICAL SO HE CHOOSES TO BE COOL AND FU CKING 

BLOCKS

MICHAEL

FROM

HIS

VISION

F U C K

END OF ACT ONE KIDDOS, YOU THOUGHT ITS BAD NOW PSH THE SHIT HASNT EVEN BEEN FIRED YET YKNOW THIS SHIT AINT GONNA END WELL

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The things I do for this shit fic smh


	13. BMC's big fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AHH IM BEHIND ON POSTING

So wowowowo Act 2, nine more songs/chapters to go.

Let's do this.

We jump to Halloween Eve holy shit and,,gaspu!!! Jake is hosting a Halloween party at his house and Jeremy is invited because he's popular and shit now !!

So Jeremy shows up a bit late and Brooke, being the insecure cinnamon roll she is, was worried that he was gonna ditch her my daughter n O

She's dressed up as a slutty dog Brooke sweaty I didn't know you were a furry 

Also, Chloe's like the hottest girl in school, but her costume choice makes me so uncomfortable ?? Like, a baby ?? Wh????

ANYWAYS

Rich is just wearing a Jason mask and instead of a machete he has a loaf of bread and it's the most adorable thing oh my god Jake notice your adorable bf 

Jake and Christine went together as Prince (the singer, may he rip) and a princess Jake lmao what the fuck you have a boyfriend

And Jeremy is a cyborg because he's just because ur cool doesn't mean you can't be nerdy at the same time 

A lesson from a shitposter 

Jake just ??? Ditches Christine ?? He just leaves her at a party where she hardly knows anyone and just goes to dance what the fuck Jake you little shit 

Rich, meanwhile, is starting to act weirdly, and starting to freak out about something more and more, but nobody helpS HIM ??? THEY JUST WALK AWAY WH HELP MY SMOL SON CLEARLY SOMETHINGS WRONG

So, towards the end of the song, Chloe approaches Jeremy and tells him that Brooke has a surprise for him upstairs, so she leads him away from the rest of the party shit 

Now shits gonna hit the fan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry 'bout the delay, been busy at home and shit lately
> 
> And now back to your regularly scheduled updates


	14. WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUC K

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CHLOE OH MY FUCKING GOD 
> 
> CONSENT; YA EVER HEARD OF IT

Okay this shit is insane and kinda triggering, just a quick warning kiddos 

Chloe leads Jeremy upstairs to Jake's parents room where Brooke's "surprise" is

"Wait where the fuck is Brooke," Jeremy wonders once he enters and nobody is there

Kay, listen to this kiddos 

Chloe is slightly drunk, and so she actually tries to fucking forCE HERSELF ON JEREMY WHAT THE FUCK NOT ONLY DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, BUT THAT IS SEXUAL ASSAULT

Jeremy, realizing what was going on, freaks out of course and tries to leave, but the Squip makes him unable to move oh my fucking god this is legit horrible and scary

He also realizes that the reason she was doing this was because she was jealous of Brooke, hunty no, don't be jealous of your wife

Also she was drunk

So Chloe continues kissing him and Jeremy's noT HAVING IT ANd he tells the Squip to make it stop, and the Squip fucking doeSNT GIVE A SHIT FUCK YOU OH MY GOD JEREMY SOMEONE HELP HIM

Chloe shoves some alcohol in his face and the Squip forces him to drink it oh my god this is terrible 

 

Luckily, before anything too drastic and forced could happen, Brooke comes upstairs after Jenna Rolan said she saw them go up together. She doesn't come in the room and goes back downstairs after a bit, but she at least gets Chloe to back off of Jeremy slightly.

Jeremy is fucking done with this shit and tells the Squip to stop dicking around and get him out of that situation but the Squip starts speaking JapanesE WH ???

Apparently, alcohol messes up Squip-kun for a bit

Then suddenly !!! Holy shit, Jake comes upstairs and threatens to rip off Jeremy's balls if he's having sex on his parents bed jfc Jake honey no

Chloe yells at him for a bit and Jake realizes they be smashin (not really) and tries to force himself in the room

So Jake, gets this, fucking faLCON PUNCHES THE WINDOW AND GETS IN THE ROOM JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I THOUGHT RICH WAS THE STRONG ONE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP 

Jeremy finally is able to get away from Chloe and runs out, but runs into Brooke oh my god no

He quickly apologizes to her before running off with Jake chasing after him holy shit 

Okay that scene was fucking insane

Y'all ready for some angst ?? ;)))

I'm certainly not

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for the angst :,))


	15. Jeremy,,you diddly darn fucked up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My baby,,,

So after that fucking insane trip, Jeremy runs into the bathroom and locks himself in there 

A hand grabs his shoulder and he screams like a little bitCH before,, GASPU !!!! ITS MY BABY AND THE HUSBANDO MICHAE L

Michael snuck into the party because he was worried about his (asshole) husbando, even though he was still pissed off as fuck 

But because the Squip is off, Jeremy is so happy to see his player 1 after so long dkbxkzjfbkf boyf riends yes

Michael was worried about Jeremy, so he was asking around and found out that a kid he played Warcraft with had a brother that went from a D student to a Harvard Freshman dayum son 

But now the kid is in a fuckinG MENTAL HOSPITAL HOLY SHIT

So Michael starts connecting the dots and starts wondering why a super computer with that much power suddenly appear out of nowhere and decide to make highschoolers cooler when they're obviously capable of much more 

Which is actually smart as fuck Michael you go honey

But Jeremy is a fucking dick and accuses Michael of being jealous what the fuck 

Jeremy we thought you sucked dick but we didn't think you were one

You are what you eat I gues hephphepfheofl 

Okay, all jokes aside, he acts like a dick to the husbando n o 

Michael tells him that the Squip wasn't what made him crazy, but that the guy went crazy trying to get it out holy shit, Jeremy, it's a pretty big red flag

But Jeremy is being a stubborn asshole and says that he doesn't intend to try to get it out anyways and makes his way to leave the bathroom

Michael blocks the way. He just wants what's best for his husbando,,,

Jeremy tells Michael to get out of his way and calls him a loser.

Oh

My 

God.

So Michael steps out of the way and Jeremy leaves him there alone in the bathroom

And get this

Michael has a panic attack

Michael, just abandoned by his best and only friend of twelve years, is left alone locked in a bathroom to have a panic attack

It's so fucking sad and heartbreaking, in the song he actually says he wishes he killed himself and that he wishes he was never born, oh my god,,,

This shit is serious to me, as someone who has crippling anxiety, and I have no fucking right to make any joke about it

Fuck you Jeremy

So, our shithead of the hour goes and finds Christine left alone and she says she left Jake because he abandoned her, hmm sounds a lot like another asshole I fucking know who's name rhymes with Meremy Beere 

So he makes a move on Christine and she rejects him, that's what you get you dick 

Meanwhile, Rich is now in full freak out mode screaming about how he needs Red Mountain Dew wh?? 

The Squip suddenly reactivates and quickly ushers Jeremy out of the house without any explanation 

Holy

Shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck you Jeremy oh my god


	16. Tfw ur bf burns down your house

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for gossip bitches ;))))

So as you remember, Rich was having a major freak out before Jeremy skiddaddled and he finds out through gossip started from Jenna Rolan that Rich fuckinG BURNED HIS BOYFRIEND JAKES HOUSE DOWN HOLY SHIT

JUST LIKE

GONE

HOLY SHIT RIP HOUSE

AND RIP JAKE TOO AS HE WAS GETTING OUT OF THE HOUSE HE ENDED UP BREAKING HIS LEGS

ALSo Jake lost his parents anD girlfriend and that same night his house burns down and he breaks his legs

Jake

Honey 

A-Are you okay ??

Also I accept the headcannon that Jake broke his legs while carrying Michael out of the house after his panic attack I mean after one that bad Michael couldn't have gotten out himself you go Jake save the boi hun 

Michael totally filed divorce papers after this smh damnit Jeremy

Also, Brooke breaks up with Jeremy and Chloe apologizes for making out with him and Brooke forgives her yes the wives are happy 

So now Rich is in the hospital, Jake's legs are broken, and Jeremy realizes the Squip knew that Rich would set a fire and burn down the house (whoaaa) and begins to wonder if what Michael said last night could be true (weLL FUCKING OBVIOUSLY YOU TWINK LISTEN TO YOUR HUSBANDO)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the late updates, been really exhausted lately. Insomnia's a bitch


	17. Fuck all them children

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The author does not support fucking children or minors it is illegal and wrong on so many levels and let's get back to the story

Jeremy is getting suspicious™ of the Squip's motives because pFF I mean it's not like he's ruinING JEREMYS LIFE OR ANYTHING H A NOP E

So the Squip explains that the problem wasn't with Jeremy, it was with Jeremy's peers and so he high-key says the only way to get Jeremy what he wants (Christine) is to give everyone in the school Squips whAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK DING DONG YOU ARE WRONG

MY BULLSHIT DETECTOR IS GOING WILD DING DING DING DING

BUT OF COurse, Jeremy honestly believes it and starts with giving Jenna Rolan a Squip

Y'know, the high school gossip girl who definitely woNT BLAB TO PEOPLE ABOUT SQUIPS HA NOPE LMAO 

God Jeremy you're giving me a heart attack what are you doing honey

 

Fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm actually well rested today wowowowow


	18. The song where Michael is gay and gets Mr.Heere's blessing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mr.Heere ships boyf riends

FinALLY, Jeremy's dad Mr.Heere notices the change in Jeremy's clothes an d attitude and confronts him about it

"Jeremy" said Mr.Heere "why the fuck you acting like this it's kinda worrying son"

"Fuck you dad" replied Jeremy flipping his fabulous hair pff gay "you don't understand me"

"Boi I can ground you" Mr.Heere threatened 

"I'd like to see you try bitch lmao you need to get over mom she's gone she left you already" Jeremy retorted holy fucking shit get shrekted 

Jeremy is a grade A dick now fuck 

So Jeremy goes on with gathering shit for the school Play, which is that night what the fuck you prick 

Mr.Heere realizes that Jeremy's in trouble and that he needs help, so he rushes over to find Michael, who's burning the letters Jeremy wrote him 

No but seriously he was about to burn all of his momentums that he and Jeremy had kept over the years of their friendship it's so sad damn it you gays are making me cry

Mr.Heere explains to Michael that Jeremy needs help, and at first Michael brushes him off and insists he's not friends with Jeremy anymore until Mr.Heere asks Michael if he loves Jeremy I don't know why I'm crying in the club rn 

He says that Jeremy needs Michael and basically gives Michael his blessing to marry his son oh my god it's gay

So Michael finally agrees to help Jeremy if Mr.Heere promises to try harder to be a father and get out of his slump skdnfkzka Michael you're everyone's savior honey

So oFF MICHAEL GOES TO SAVE JEREMY FIABELGPXB YOU GO BABY I BELIEVE IN YOU SAVE YOUR HUSBANDO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My otp is Mr.Heere x The Squip Squieere ftw
> 
>  
> 
> God what's wrong with me


	19. MICHAEL MAKES AN ENTRANC E

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit hits the fan for the final time

Jump to Squip Squad at the play and Christine's announcing the play because she's a queen yas girl yasss 

Hobby Lobby™ provides the costumes for the play it's not important but it needed to be said

Also Mr.Hotpocket™ is understudy for Rich because he's still in the hospital for burn wounds my smol torch baby n o

Jeremy goes and confronts Christine and tells her about the Squip and offers one to her and she fuckING TURNS HIM DOWN FLAT SLAY QUEEN SLAYYYY

She gets mad, saying that she doesn't need a pill to learn who she is and that she'll learn herself damn Christine that's deep af 

Jeremy realizes what Christine's saying makes sense (bitCH DIDNT UR HUSBANDO SAY BASICALLY THE SAME THING) and he decides that he shouldn't do this and he thinks about just putting the Squips back in Rich's locker

But hoLY SHIT THEYRE ALL GONE DKSVSKVLSBFU CK

He asks Mr.Hotpocket™ about what's in this serum prop the whole cast has to drink during the show and he finds out it's Mt Dew and Jenna put all of the Squips into the bottom of the beaker hoLY FUCKING SHIT OH M Y-

 

AND FUCK MR.HOTPOCKET DRANK SOME ALREADY HES SQUIPPED BOIII

Jeremy goes to stop Brooke as she takes a drink from the beaker but the Squip blocks him whAT THE FUCK YOU OFF-BRAND MAC BOOK PRO

Jeremy quickly realizes that the Squip intends to Squip the whole cast fucknuggets 

Jeremy rushes to try and think of ways to shut the Squip off but the Squip warns him to stop there before he ends up like Rich

And gaSPU !! HE REMEMBERS RICH FREAKING OUT AT THE PARTY ABOUT MT DEW RED BEFORE SETTING THE HOUSE ON FIRE AND BEING HOSPITALIZED HE WAS TRYING TO GET RID OF HIS SQUIP

The soda was discontinued in the 1990's but MichaEL BUYS OLD SODAS YES GET UR HUSBANDO

He tries to call Michael but the Squip starts fighting physically with him and flings him across the room dayum boi if I wasn't gay you could Squip me anyday hephoeheoeheoeheelr 

I need to stop

And,,,, he lands at the huSBANDOS FEET 

MICHAEL MAKES AN ENTRANCE AND THE HUSBANDOS ARE REUNITED 

Jeremy is surprised that Michael went to see him at the play, and MichaEL FUCKING BROUGHT MT DEW RED JEREMY'S FUCKING HERO I DONT KNOW WHY IM CRYING IN THE CLUB RN

But first Michael wants and apology fuck yeah you treated him like shit 

He tries to apologize, but the fuckING SQUIP BLOCKS HIM FROM SAYING IT AND THEN MAKES HIM FIGHT MICHAEL MY BABIES N O

Michael holds down Jeremy (kinky) and asks Jake to make him drink the Mt Dew (less kinky more weird)

Jake agrees but the fuCKING

THE FUCKING SQUIP ALWAYS FUCKING SHIT UP

HE ACTIVATES THE SQUIP JAKE HAD TAKEN EARLIER AND HE BECOMES A TOTALLY BOSS SQUIPPED ZOMBIE FUC K 

ALso he stands on his broken legs boi so extra and Zombie Jake™ dumps ouT THE MT DEW RED BITCH FUUUCKK

SO MICHael high-key has a bonding moment and cradles Jeremy in his arms as Squipped Brooke and Chloe appear like the twins from the Shining spo ok y 

Jeremy noticed that the Mt Dew has a few drops left and he and Michael do a quick reprise of Two Player Gays as they sneak past the Wives™ and Totally Boss™ and grab the bottle I am liviN G

Jenna is the final boss rip and she corners Michael, so he tosses Jeremy the bottle just as the Squipped Zombies attack hiM MY BABY NO HE SACRAFICED HIMSELF TO SAVE HIS HUSBANDO IM SCREAMING MICHAEL-KU N

Jeremy tries to drink the Mt Dew, but the Squip physically restrains him and suDDENLY CHRISTINE APPEARS IS SHE GONNA SAVE THE DAY????

NO SHE WAS FUCKING SQUIPPED TOO OH MY GOD

She says that Jeremy was right and everything and says she loves him Christine I love you honey but say that again and Michael is gonna come back from the dead to beat yo ass 

So Christine is Squipped and she'll basically do whatever Jeremy tells her to do

So yEET HE TELLS HER TO DRINK THE MT DEW RED FUCK YES TAKE THAT YOU FUCKING DIGITAL TIC TAC

Christine fucking starts screAMIN G AND SOON EVERYONE IS FUCKING SCREAMING MR.HOTPOCKET™ CHLOE BROOKE JENNA JAKE JEREMY EVEN FUCKING MICHAEL HOLY SHIT 

And they all collapse and pass out

 

 

Fuck

 

 

 

 

Holy fucking shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at these gays oh my god
> 
>  
> 
> https://instagram.com/p/BWfoqKRAp1s/
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> BONDING MOMEN T


	20. Everyone is gay and that's okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can't believe it's the last chapter my gays 
> 
>  
> 
> It's been fun ♡

Jesus Christ 

 

So after THAT shit storm, Jeremy wakes up in the hospital and,,, GASPU MY SMOL TORCH BABY RICH IS ROOMING WITH HIM AWWW BUT HES IN A FUCKING FULL BODY CAST DAMN

Turns out Rich has an adorable lisp™ that his Squip made him hide to be cool no my baby 

So Rich says he's going to introduce the real him to everyone and get all the girls go my baby 

And Rich has a short sexuality crisis (thinkin about Jake probably smh) and realizes he's toTALLY BI YES MY SON

And it turns out Michael had been visiting him the whole time he was passed out oh my god the husbandos 

Speak of the devil and he shall appear Michael makes an entrance™ once more and closes the curtain on Rich bitch like that'll stop him from hearing your gay confession 

Michael explains that you only had to kill one Squip to kill them all and all of them are gone yE S 

And pOW MR.HEERE APPEARS AND HES WEARING PANTS YOU GO HONEY IM SO PROUD OF HIM

First thing he does is check if Jeremy's alright then he grounds him lmao Mr.Heere is my mom

So Jeremy crushed about Christine but there's always Michael boI

But Mr.Heere, Michael, and Rich (who was totally eavesdropping™ bitch i told you) give him a little girl advice and after they get out of the hospital the whole Squip Squad becomes friends ye S

 

So

 

To wrap this shit fic up

 

Jake and Rich are totally boyfriends™

Chloe and Brooke actually get over bois and get together (confirmed by Chloe's actress, Katlyn Carlson, who actually posts PinkBerry art on her Instagram it's so cute oh my god)

Jeremy goes to ask out Christine and she says yes, but for the sake of boyf riends, most fans just pretend that whole part didn't exist and Jeremy realizes how much he loves Michael which is quite a lot actually and they finally get together after years of painful pining 

And because the characters are so pure, and none of them deserve to be alone, there's an adorable Christine and Jenna ship

And y'know

 

That's fine with me

 

 

 

And this all shit started with a kid singing while trying to masturbate 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bitch me too

 

 

 

 

>>>THE END<<<

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit.
> 
>  
> 
> It's over.
> 
>  
> 
> Ive had so much fun with this story, god, thank you all so much for all your kudos, comments, and support. Hope you had as much fun as I did!!
> 
> And who knows, maybe they'll be more musicals to come ;)))
> 
> Comment what you think I should tackle next, and maybe I'll see you in another fic !!
> 
>  
> 
> "If ya got nothing to say just be gay" - Me
> 
> ♡♡♡♡


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